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Depending on the messenger service, there could be different reasons why someone else could have the same handle.
If you do not log into your messenger service for a long time, sometimes six months or a year, you could lose that IM name.
On some Instant Message services, you may
If you find you can not log in with a regularly used username, contact customer support. This could be the result of a hacker. Remember to never share your password with anyone.
When looking for a chat room, you'll want to consider what topics interest you.
There are chat rooms for writers, for people looking for love and even religious chatrooms. Pick a topic and then enter it in your search query when looking for a chat room.
For example, if you wanted a video game chat room, you simply enter "video game chat" in your favorite search engine.
Not sure what you want? Try a chat directory like http://www.google.com/Top/Computers/Internet/Chat?tc=1/